How to kill a lion By Companies:

Cognizant Method:





hire a lion... ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.

give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.

hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit

give them same gobi 65 to eat

hire 200 more....... and more .......



TCS method:



hire a lion

give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary

lion dies of hunger and frustration



Kanbay Method:



Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion...

Give him work of 3 Lions

Tell him to work late and even on weekends...

No time for food and family, will automatically die



IBM's method:



hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour ...

he dies of unemployment...



Syntel Method:-



Hire a Cat ...

assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and

make sure that he never reaches onsite.

Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....



MBT method:



hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score 60% he will lose the job.

lion dies of the strain?



i-Flex method:



hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari

for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes

alive he will get band movement (promotion)

holy cow dies in fear of the real lion



HCL Method:



hire a lion .

tell him to merge with Goats (polaris) and reduce his allowance...

lion dies from fear that tommorrow he might become a goat....



Polaris Method :



hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ..

change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM )

cut down his allowance (coupons etc)

lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....





Patni method:



hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...

the lion dies before joining....





Wipro Method:

Hire a Lion,

give him a mail Id.

he will die recieving stupid mails all day........!!!!



In Last But not the least



Accenture Method:



Hire a lion....

Send him to chennai

Ask him to stay on bench for a long time

Ask him to eat idli,Dosa and Vada

No hindi, kannada or no other languages speaking ppl other than TAMIL...

No good food, No water..and specially No Beautiful girls

And say him "Go Ahead be a Tiger".

Lion dies in confusion he is Tiger or lion.....